Uncorrectable Problems
When the problems cannot
be resolved, you'll have to think in new directions,
especially if you are on a budget. You have three basic
options:
- Invasive types of infertility
treatments, such as IVF. Very expensive, and high failure
rates. Requires the ability to carry a baby to term.
- Egg Adoption or other
donor options. Still requires the ability to carry a
baby to term unless you opt for surrogacy. Still fairly
pricey, and may involve IVF.
- Adoption. This can be
the least costly option, but in some ways has high failure
risks similar to IVF failure - I do not refer to the
emotional issues, which can usually be worked through
by stable couples, I mean the risk that you may pay
your fees and still not end up with a child due to legal
issues or difficulties in getting a birth parent to
follow through. Fraud is increasing, and even when you
deal with a reputable agency, there are no guarantees.
Adoption also requires a huge adjustment in thinking
for many people, but is a great way to meet the need
of a parent for a child, and of a child for a parent.
Perhaps the worst situation
to deal with is when you keep trying, and the problems
never resolve, and you never know what caused it. It
can be harder to figure out when the time is right to
choose alternate routes.
There is always the
option of remaining childless. Some people find satisfaction
and fulfillment in other occupations in their lives.
Personally, this would have been an extremely difficult
thing for me to deal with. My heart is just very much
with childraising.
No option but to make
hard choices if you face fertility problems that are
not correctable. Take a deep breath, make some choices
about a new direction, and go forward boldly. Life is
going to take you someplace you did not plan. But if
you go forward with a good attitude, you'll find unexpected
treasures in the path that you did not seek.
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