About Us
The site was created by Laura Wheeler, web designer, technician,
writer, homeschooler, and otherwise busy mom of 8.
Laura only counts the kids to whom
she gave birth. She has experienced countless early miscarriages,
plus a 20 week loss. In 2004 she became pregnant with a daughter,
who died within minutes of birth due to a rare form of dwarfism.
She and her husband have seven living children, of whom only 5 remain
at home.
After marrying, it took Kevin and
Laura 3 years before they had their first child. And not for lack
of trying. The two years of feeling barren, plus one early miscarriage,
left an indelible impression on Laura. Later she had to use birth
control if she wanted to prevent pregnancy. She went from struggling
to get pregnant, to having children prolifically. After the birth
of her seventh child she and her husband took some time off. Life
was very chaotic. They chose again to have more children when their
youngest was six. The Lord had other plans.
A year of miscarriages later, their
youngest son was diagnosed with cancer. The first few miscarriages
had not been terribly difficult, because Laura always miscarried
once or twice before carrying to term. It seemed like a step in
the process. By the time the youngest son was diagnosed with cancer
though, it was a relief in some ways to have something else to focus
on. Alex had just finished the most intensive phase of treatment
when a pregnancy test showed up positive, at 6 weeks. This baby
stuck. And died just after birth.
This website was created nearly
a year after that crushing loss. Kevin and Laura have done nothing
to prevent pregnancy, and previously that would have automatically
equalled a baby. Now the certainty is not there. The yearning is.
The house feels like it is occupied by half a family, the sense
of a missing presence is so strong, and it is not the absence of
the child they lost. A few more miscarriages have indicated that
fertility is still evident, but there is no assurance that a baby
will stick long enough to make it to birth.
Laura has built this in the hope
that it can reach an aching heart, give comfort in circumstances
which she has come to realize are all too common. And in the effort,
perhaps give her a greater sense of usefulness instead of feeling
as though she is just marking time.
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